“that’s weird. anderson usually has this love-me puppy dog eyes, now he looks like he wants to devour hummel. and what is up with all the ugly turtlenecks he’s been wearing lately? wait a second, did hummel just … ? holy sweet hell! they’re fucking! they’re totally fucking! i know that look, anderson’s totally making bedroom eyes and looks like he’s ready to pounce on hummel! oh my baby gays, about time you gots your little virgin white asses devirginized and auntie tana cannot wait to hear all the deets.”